Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
