I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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