Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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