Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
