doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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