Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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