"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
