her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
