new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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