he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
