i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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