my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
