You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize