Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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