I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
