Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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