I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
