You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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