I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
