so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
