I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
