i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
