her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
