I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize