I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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