You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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