Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
