When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I still have a little drunk in my system
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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