Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
