just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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