Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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