So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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