I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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