I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
