you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
