Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
