I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
