Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
