around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
