i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
