Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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