Jerry, you need to find god
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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