I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
