I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
