so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
