it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
