I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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