fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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