Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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