i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
