it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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