Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
