obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
