youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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