She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
