with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
