My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
