Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
