He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
