I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
