he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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