susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
