Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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