I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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