i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
