im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
