John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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