Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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