So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize