I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
