No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
